An Open Letter to the Jerk in the Old Car on Southern State Parkway

Hi! It's me. The person in the Saturn who you gave a disdainful look to as you passed me. Because you had to swerve around me since you were traveling way too fast in the right hand lane.
The right hand lane is for people to MERGE onto and off of the parkway. It's not your personal zoom-by-others lane. And not to mention the other 2 cars ahead of me who apparently had no idea that you had to speed up a little as you merge onto a parkway.
Oh, and it doesn't make you cool if you drive an old car. It's an old car that's been well cared for moron - one with a real paint job and not a Harley Davidson decals all over it. (Blasphemy)
And lose the mullet loser.

An Open Letter to the Patrons of the North Babylon Library Who Borrow DVDs

I know how exciting it must be to borrow new(ish) movies like Spiderman 2 without having to go to Blockbuster.
I know it must really be hard to try to take care of something that isn't yours.
I know it must be even harder to do something simple like take a DVD from its case and carefully put it in your DVD player.
Perhaps you were missing a coaster and needed a flat round object to put your drink on.
Or maybe you lost your frisbee.
Regardless. Those DVDs do not belong to you and contrary to what you might think, other people would like to be able to VIEW the movie once you're done watching/slobbering/chewing on said movie.
The world is not your oyster.

This is just nifty

I was perusing the "blogs of note" and came across this one. Here's a picture to whet your appetite and make you go there. It's just the neatest stuff. And it goes beyond just neat objets d'art - he has some clever thinking behind it.

The Human Lisa Simpson

Tommy told me once that he had a crush on Lisa Simpson and one of the reasons he fell in love with me was because I was so much like her. Well, his dreams really came true when I found SimpsonizeMe (courtesty of fellow blogger Jordan Baker).

It's a laborious project and takes many attempts but it's just so worth it. I've always wanted to be on The Simpsons just to see what I'd look like animated.

I'd Be Laughing at You Too, Moron

This guy is all boo-hoo because his neighbors trashed his Hummer. Masked people slashed the tires and keyed it with the phrase "For the environ" Go them. I'm sick of seeing these monstrous things around. I've been musing over having a magnet/bumper sticker made saying "This car is socially and environmentally irresponsible" and slapping them on the Hummers and Navigators of the world. I love that the people in the neighborhood are smirking at him as if he deserved it.

What I'd like to know is why someone who lives with their mother felt the need to purchase a $32,000 vehicle????

New Talent

Today while commuting to work I discovered that I could vomit while driving and not get any on me. There has to be a call for that somewhere in the world, right?

Starbucks - Not the Villian You Expected
I think Starbucks gets a bum rap sometimes. I think people think it's some 'evil huge monster' company that puts little coffee places out of business. I don't necessarily think this is true. There are still quite a few coffee houses around my parts and most of the time they're hard to get into for how popular they are. I certainly don't see them hurting.

But Starbucks really does try to be good. I mean, they offer their employees benefits, regardless of whether they are full or part time. They have programs dedicated to helping others in countries that are less fortunate than we are. They sell water - a portion of which the proceeds go towards ensuring safe drinking water for children in underpriveledged countries. They have great music. I've bought quite a few cds from Starbucks and have discovered new artists I wouldn't have otherwise found.

And I was able to order something that's not even on their menu. I wanted a flavored steamed milk. (Hazelnut if you must know) And poof. They gave it to me. And it wasn't $5.

So Starbucks gets a gold star in my book. And I still patronize the little independent coffee places as well.

I Heart Sir Paul

I have to get my hands on his new album. While making dinner one night I had "The Tube" on (for more about the Tube, go here) and up popped a video for Paul's new song "Dance All Night." It was so Paul. So Beatlesque. And he's playing the mandolin on it. I love it! I so want to learn how to play it. So it got me thinking. Paul's early solo stuff was inherently Paul. And it really was different than the Beatle sound. Just as John's solo sound was so John and George's was just so George. (Ringo's solo stuff just always flummoxes me for some reason.) But now, with his last 2 albums, it seems as though Paul's returning to his roots - they're SO Beatlesque. Chaos and Creation in the Backyard sounds like it could have been recorded at Apple in between takes of doing tracks for "Revolver." It was almost eerie listening to it, as if he was working on it while someone was chanelling John next to him. And what I've heard off Memory Almost Full is in a similar vein. Which brings me to wonder if John and George would have also come full cirle if they were still with us. AND...if that's so, would a Beatle reunion really have been out of the question at that point.

Just food for thought.

Elfman vs. Williams - Cage Match

So I went to rehearsal for the community orchestra last night, expecting to be welcomed with the same music we always play in the summer - the same arrangements of the same musicals and oldies.

Well. Wasn't I pleasantly surprised? The theme this summer is the movies, so the concert is chock-full of great stuff.

First. A really great arrangement (basically the same as the original, but just abridged) of 'An American in Paris' including a teeny 3 measure cello solo! Gershwin is such a favorite of mine.

Then, an incredible compilation of John Williams' movie themes.

And we're talking the real deal. Not some babied down arrangements. It's as if they plucked right from the movie scores. He wrote some complex rhythms. It was from when he was honored at the Kennedy Center and included Superman, Star Wars, Jaws, Harry Potter and Raiders of the Lost Ark. All the great, instantly-recognizable themes.

Next we pull out selections of melodies from Rocky. Now scoff if you want, but there are some crazy, kick-ass string lines in there. Bill Conti wrote some amazing stuff. Complex, very touching motifs that really work to convey the character. I love how dated the music sounds but it's just so recognizable at the same time.

THEN.....an arrangement of themes from Spiderman. Written by my most favorite movie score composer of all time: Danny Elfman!! I have his cds of movie score music and I just sit enraptured by it. And I knew it had to be impossibly hard, especially when you listen to how layered it all is - you've got the strings playing this crazy-fast ostenato, strangely beautiful melodies that are almost always haunting, and just absolutely brilliant music. I was in heaven.

So needless to say, I was deliriously happy with what we're playing. The only exception was this arrangement of James Bond themes. It's a real clumsy arrangement - the songs are dumbed-down rhythmically, they're in different keys than they were written in and the transitions from song to song are very cumbersome. But, it's still fun to play.

So who would win a cage match between Danny Elfman and John Williams?

Oh, and my abdomen seems to be behaving better. No more searing gas pain and no kidney pain as of late. So either the stone has vacated the premises or it's hiding quietly and plotting it's next wave of terror against me.

Abdomen Woes
**Warning - grossness ahead**
So, it's thought that I might have a kidney stone. Which apparently is somewhat common in pregnancy. Saturday found me doubled over in pain and just miserable. I go all the way to the closest walk-in and they're closed - (after calling and checking on their hours - apparently people don't get as sick in the summer) so I call another which was luckily open on Sunday. They perfunctorily diagnose a kidney stone and tell me to follow up with my OB. I do. They say to come right in to get a sono. So I got a sneak peak at Baby Jordan who was basically doing the watusi in there. Then see the doctor again today at my regular appointment who refers me to a urologist. So off I will be going there.

However. Last night I had BLINDING gas pain, on top of the kidney pain. I thought my insides were going to explode. I was absolutely WRITHING in pain.

So I'm guessing my insides in the neighborhood of my abdomen are just not happy right now.

So Let Me Get This Straight...
Here's an interesting tidbit on how people were taking hammers to their iPhones to see what made them tick. So not only were these people shelling out $500-$600 for this but then destroyed them? I'm hoping they were paid by some company to do this because if this is just what "kids today do" we're all doomed.

*Editorial Rant*
I kind of feel weird about these iPhones. They may be "neat" but I always wonder why we need so much technology in one place. I don't know why people need to download music to their phone - I really don't get that. I can understand needing to access the 'net if you're say a businessperson who is always on the go and need information or whatnot, but why would the average person need a $500-$600 phone that does everything like that?

Move Over Bacon, Here Comes Sizzlean

I went to Tommy's game yesterday. I did put on sunblock - SPF 30 even. Apparently I'm lacking in the sunblock application skills as I now have a ridiculous looking burn on my back and right above my cleavage. It's painful and silly looking. Luckily, I had this hair/skin butter in my hair-care arsenal and decided to try it out on my burn. Ahhhhhh......cocoa scented relief! Now my skin is saying "ahhhhhh" and I smell like chocolate. Thank you Blended Beauty's Whipped Pudding! (This link will take you to the last time I sang Whipped Pudding's praises.)

Now I'm off in a shapeless dress (since anything remotely touching my shoulders makes me yelp) to gather groceries so I can make dinner for a few nights in a row and regain my domestic goddess status.