Sunday, April 20, 2008

Another Coincidence

Okay. So there's been quite a few coincidental things popping up in my life lately. Last weekend on Saturday, we went to Emily's memorial. It was beautiful. Tons of singing, music and memories. Luke LOVED the singing and music. He was transfixed by it and whenever there was singing, he was trying to sing along in his own little baby way. It made me do a lot of thinking about where I am and where I want to be in life. A lot of food for thought. Monday, I get into the office, have a crazy morning and then I have a moment to just settle in to my work and enjoy the classical station I have playing on my computer. And out of nowhere I hear "The Swan" from "Carnival of the Animals" by Dvorak. It's not a piece they play often, due to its novelty. However. It's the piece that Emily taught me that summer. Not only did I learn a piece that was way harder than anything I had attempted up to then, but she had me perform it at full assembly. In front of a lot of people. Accompanied only by a dancer and a pianist. From memory. Things I thought I'd never be able to do. So, I pose to you - was that a message from Emily?

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Walk For Two

I'm walking in Relay for Life on May 2. This time last year, we knew we were pregnant, but hadn't told anyone. As we were walking we giggled and laughed and knew that next year we'd be walking with someone else.

I plan on walking the survivors' lap holding Lucas. Could there be a better testament to the miracles that cancer research have found than a survivor who has since had a baby?

If you're interested in joining us or supporting the cause - let me know in the comments area so I don't have a link to my personal info floating out in the world!

My New Wheels

I've had the car for 2 months now. But I procrastinated taking pictures of it. So here it is! I named her Gertie. So far we get along just fine. In the second picture, notice the television above the gas pumps. Hideous. They're just everywhere - at the supermarket checkout, in doctors' offices, now at the gas pumps?? Ugh.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

More Beethoven

Played a short little concert today. Since I lost my cello strap I was practically chasing my cello across the floor as I played. Not so much fun. But it was nice to just play and to be appreciated.

Sometimes I love playing my cello so much that it scares me.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

E.T. Phone Home

So I had this dream last night (or rather this morning since it occurred after I woke up in a panic after checking Luke, since he slept from midnight to 6am) about E.T. E.T. was in the hospital and I was with my Auntie Glo (who passed away right before Easter). Except she looked like she did a good 10 years ago or so. And she wanted to visit E.T. since she knew he was really sick (like towards the end of the movie where he's separated from Elliot). And we found the room that he was in and she walked right in and held his hand. Okay. Now that's a weird dream to begin with, but when I got in to work this morning, I decided to put on the classical station. And about 10 minutes later, the closing music from E.T. starts playing.

This is going to sound completely weird, but I feel like my premonitions are getting a teensy bit stronger. I've had a few weird feelings the last couple of weeks that have come true. Driving to my parents' house last week to pick up Luke, I thought, "Maybe my mom doesn't have her class tonight and I'll see her." Lo and behold, mom was home sick.

Remembering Emily

Two weekends ago one of my first cello teachers passed away. In some twist of coincidence, her husband plays baseball with mine. And her husband had visited the camp she worked at the summer I was a camper there. So, I had met him before my husband did.

But I digress.

It was the first time I had really intensive lessons. It was the first time I really delved into learning the cello. It was the first time I played "real" music in orchestra, not watered-down, simplified versions. (We played the overture to The Barber of Seville, the second movement of Tchaikovsky's 5th Symphony, the 2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th Symphony) Emily had me study Saint-Saens' Swan from the Carnival of Animals. Not only did I learn it, but she had me perform it at an all-camp assembly, from memory and with a piano accompaniment and a dancer. Never had someone had so much confidence in me that I could pull something like that off. She taught me to "feel" music rather than just play it.

There are times you know your musicianship is being changed. There's definitive moments to the shaping of who you are as a musician. For me, the first one was studying with Emily. She taught me to not be self-conscious when I play. To try making things up as I go along. To just take risks as a musician.

Now I wonder. I've posted my question to the universe as "The Three Only Things" suggests. I asked about what it is I really should be doing, and what it is that I'm meant to do. Hearing about Emily makes me re-visit what it means to me to be a musician and what I want to do with it. It makes me remember what a magical summer that was for me and how I felt like a "real" musician for the first time.