Just Get Off the Road

I'm amazed by the amount of stupid-ness I see driving to and from work. Mostly to. Maybe the morning brings out the stupid-ness in people. I don't know. All I know is that I've come up with the following:

*I'm not psychic. I can't tell if you're changing lanes if you don't use your turn signal. There's a reason it's there. Use it.

*If you're not moving faster than the lane to the right of you, get out of the one you're in. The left lanes are called "PASSING LANES" for a reason. They're not there for you to park your ass in for the length of the parkway.

*Your vanity plate/rear window decal/license plate border is not cute. It's not witty. It's not funny. It's just pissing me off even more and making you look like a loser. (Hence my start of collecting loser vanity plates.)

*Merging is not something you can be creative with. Just get onto the parkway as soon as you can and get out of the way. There's no reason to zoom around traffic trying to accomplish this so you can get 5 car lengths ahead of everyone else.

*I'd also like to know how those ridiculous landscaping trucks are legal. How is it remotely legal to have grass clippings and other assorted stuff flying out the back of your truck. How is it remotely legal to have 4 or 5 illegal immigrants hanging out in the back of said truck? If they were so concerned with the illegal immigrant problem here, they could seriously just follow these trucks around and solve a good portion of it.

There. Rant complete. Thank you.

L-O-S-E-R

I have seen the biggest loser in the world. Seriously. He was driving in my vicinity on the Northern State Parkway. I saw his Jeep from the back first. It contained:

A Mets Sticker - I happen to like the Mets and this wasn't bothering me.
A decal of Calvin urinating on a Yankees logo. - I HATE these things. They're so repulsive and classless. It's no wonder that Europeans laugh at us. I just wince when I see these things. It makes me wonder just what kind of person feels that that's an appropriate way to show their displeasure for something.
A license plate border that states, "Patience My Ass, This is New York." - Okay, see, this is why everyone else thinks New Yorkers are a$$holes. I hate seeing stuff like this. It's just self-perpetuating crap that gives loser New Yorkers like this the mindset that they can be rude, pushy morons since they are New Yorkers.

So, I pass by and peek in expecting to see some burly Joey Bag of Donuts kind of guy. Nope. A whiny looking, balding weenie type looking guy. I'd have kicked his ass if I saw him in a parking lot. Loser.

An Open Letter to the Jerk in the Old Car on Southern State Parkway

Hi! It's me. The person in the Saturn who you gave a disdainful look to as you passed me. Because you had to swerve around me since you were traveling way too fast in the right hand lane.
The right hand lane is for people to MERGE onto and off of the parkway. It's not your personal zoom-by-others lane. And not to mention the other 2 cars ahead of me who apparently had no idea that you had to speed up a little as you merge onto a parkway.
Oh, and it doesn't make you cool if you drive an old car. It's an old car that's been well cared for moron - one with a real paint job and not a Harley Davidson decals all over it. (Blasphemy)
And lose the mullet loser.