Apparently I Have 3 Heads
Since that's the look I got last night at lamaze when the instructor asked, "So, is anyone here NOT planning on having an epidural?" and I was the only one who raised their hand. I seriously was waiting for people to come up to me and ask me why I wasn't planning on one. (Notice I say I'm not planning on one - this is not to say I can't change my mind. But I'd like to avoid it if I can.)

My feelings are this. I had 6 rounds of chemo. Very very aggressive chemo. Six rounds of 2-day protocols where in one day I had 3 hard core drugs put through my system - not to mention the drug to ward off nausea, the drug to keep my white count up, the drug to keep my red count up and the honkin' bag of saline I'd have to finish before I was let free from my i.v. tether. I have issues now with taking medications I don't have to. I feel like I got my fill thank you. I steer clear of medicines if I can. I take Tylenol only when I can't function and take cough syrup if I can't sleep. So if I can turn down medications I will.

I had a bone marrow biopsy. That means I had LARGE needles pounded into the back crests of my pelvis. So needless to say I have issues with needles in my back now.

So there you have it. Like I say, I plan on no epidural. I might get in there and beg them to cover me with needles to give me drugs. But I want to do as much research as I can to find ways to naturally deal with the pain.

(This was especially addressed to the large mouth-breathing lummox who sits next to us in lamaze. He looked horrified that I didn't want one.)

Nice, Productive Sunday
Sundays don't get much better than when you can relax AND get lots o'things done. My accomplishments for Sunday include:

• food shopping
• going to a wake (which really isn't an accomplishment, but I felt good that we went)
• going to the laundromat to do laundry (nothing is better than clean clothes)
• changing the strings on my cello (I always forget what a huge difference new strings make. I felt like Rostropovich after changing them and giving them a whirl.)
• practicing a few spots in Jeckyll and Hyde (not too tough, but there are definitely 2 spots where I couldn't feel more exposed if I was playing naked)
• returning library books (on time no less!)
• going back to the supermarket up at the top of this list and getting money back on something they waaaaay overcharged me for
• using my raincheck for the 3/$5 Pepperidge Farms frozen cakes offer at said supermarket
• getting myself some Japanese food (no, no sushi, don't worry)

Sundays like that are all sorts of good.

Next Time You Get a Premonition, Don't Tell Me

Watched this movie with Diane over the weekend. I'm usually very ready to overlook plot holes in the interest of the movie as a whole, but this was just bad. It was like they said, "Okay, here are the rules for this movie." And then promptly tossed them out. Granted, they tried really hard, but I just couldn't like it. And the more I thought about the movie, the more I disliked it. Sorry Sandra Bullock, usually you're one of my favorites, and you were good in it, but it just wasn't one of your best.

Baby Jordan Watch!
Okay. Deep breath. Today marks the beginning of my third trimester. I'm excited and scared and nervous all at once. It's starting to get a little more....real. But I still am almost waiting for someone to say, "You know, we made a mistake, you're not really pregnant." And at the same time it feels like this time is dragging so slowly and going by so quickly. I mentioned to the dear cowboy the other day that we have less than 90 days to go. His reaction, "Oh my god, really?" So I chimed in that that means he also has less than 90 days left in his semester, which seemed to make him feel a little better. And I don't feel quite so panicked. I picked out a dresser/changing table (okay, it's not really a changing table, but I'm using it as such) that will be arriving October 20 - plenty of time to arrange and organize things. My registry is just about finished, some tweaking left to do on it, but for the most part I've got a good start there. Started the lamaze classes. So I guess we're in pretty good shape. I'm feeling pretty good. A little achy in my hips, but otherwise fine. I do feel quite....larger today though. I guess that's just par for the course from here on out!

So that's the reasoning behind the ticker up top! The countdown really begins now!!

Money Don't Buy You Class...or....An Open Letter to the Evil B*tch in the White Jaguar at the Drive Through Window at the New Hyde Park Burger King

I thought I was going to have a lot more time before our first lamaze class last night. I was planning on going to this hip little place called Mud - an outpost of the famous Mud that dispenses coffee to caffeine-craving metro-ers in NYC. But being that I got caught up in work, I found I was going to have to gobble something quick from a drive-through window. So I figured a "flame-broiled" Whopper Jr. with some added bacon would make me somewhat happy. (Not as happy as a grilled panini with bacon, avocado and tomato, but....)


So I pull into BK which has 2 entrances - one in the front and one on the side. This white jaguar pulls slllloooowwwwly into the side entrance, but upon seeing me make my way towards the drive through, hurries up to beat me there. Then, while at the little ordering squawk-box she proceeds to take a very long time ordering. So much so, that I lower my window to see if maybe she's waiting for the person on the other end. Nope. She was drilling all these orders at them and changing them. Hoo boy.


Finally I get to pull up and order my food, which takes seriously less than a minute. I pull up behind her and wait. She gets her change, gets her food and then sits there. Ummmm....you need to move. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I move up after I get my food, check the bag, and then either go on my merry way, or if something's amiss, I go INSIDE and fix it. I would think that it's rude to hold everyone else up. (However, if I quickly peek in the bag and am still at the window and find something missing that's a different story.) So this woman proceeds to scream "Excuse Me" and HONKS at the window. She then yells at them. And says incredibly nasty things like "Damn Spics."

I kid you not.

It was at this point where I slightly lost it. I don't like to see people abused by someone who thinks they're better than them. I shouted (and I may have used some poor language, but in my defense, I was starving and tired of putting up with this woman). I told her to go into the restaurant. I tell her to get out of the way. I tell her she's holding up the rest of the line. She then yells at me. She asks me "Are you Jewish? You look Jewish" "You f*cking Jew!" I yell back "Apparently money doesn't buy you class, huh?" (I didn't respond that I wasn't because quite honestly, that shouldn't matter) She yells "I'm going to back up and hit your car and blame you." So I counter with, "That's a great idea with all these witnesses here lady."

She then gets in her car and drives off. So either a.) Getting the proper order was not important to her. b.) She did get the right order and was just trying to be a bitch. or c.) The voices in her head told her to drive away before the mob behind her beat her ass.

Lord help her if I see her out and about again.

Why I Think This Baby is a Girl

• All I want to eat is meat and sweets. Give me a burger and a cupcake and I'm happy.
• Right after I found out I was pregnant I was called to do a production of "Little Women" and then a production of "Tess."
• I look TOTALLY different than my sister who had a boy.
• This is a very mellow baby. So far no temper tantrums while still inside. (Although (s)he doesn't like it when I roll over on my right side - I get a good couple of nudges then.)
• At our "big" ultrasound, the baby kept his/her hand in front of their face. Very dramatic-like. I have a few shots of a teeny face with a balled up fist next to his/her face and a few with their hand in front of their face as if to say, "Puh-leeze, this is not my awake time, leave me alone."

Nice Things Lately
I've come across these little....pleasantries lately. It's like a little message from the universe saying, "See, things are pretty good most of the time."

• Letting an older man in front of me on the checkout line. I had a few things, but he had just a carton of milk. He seemed shocked that I wanted to do that. Which made me a little sad, I mean, isn't that just common courtesy? But it was just a tiny gesture that made me feel good the rest of the day.
• Hearing Judy Collins sing "Both Sides Now". I love that song. It's just so....nostalgic and lulling. I hum it all the time to Baby J.

Actually enjoying a day off from work instead of cramming it with things I "should" do. I did however:

• Get my car fixed so as it's not a deathtrap anymore. (It was actually to the point where I was embarassed to bring it in.)
• Get the registry (somewhat) done. There's a few more items to stick on there, but for the most part it's there. (I still can't find a decent snowsuit for this poor kid though)
• Have a delicious and leisurely breakfast with the cowboy. It was funny - as much as he makes fun of me for my adoration of "Top Chef", after overhearing the QuickFire Challenge (which was to create breakfast in their apartment for Padma), he was dying for eggs.
• Find a sinfully delicious chocolate-peanut butter shake that comes close to the one I tried at Max Brenner. (Holy land of chocolate)
• Listening to (a poorly edited and chopped up version of) Rhapsody in Blue on the classical station. I own a slew of recordings of it, but there's nothing like just finding it on the radio for some reason - the random-ness of it...serendipity I guess you could call it. (Or not, as I'm often guilty of misusing words as per cowboy.)

And now I just relax, intermittentdly reading a Howard Hughes biography (after seeing part of The Aviator I was intrigued) and doing puzzles in a Penny Press book.

I need more days like this. Especially before December 17. Thank goodness Columbus Day and Veterans Day are days off too.

Pregnancy Watch '07

I feel like a wayward, horrible mother. I should be furiously journaling. Or scrapbooking every lab result. But I haven't. It's actually been a blissful pregnancy so far; very little nausea, still eating everything I love and adore be it a balogna sandwich or Taco Bell, and I'm still in some of my regular clothes at 6 1/2 months. Baby Jordan is growing bigger by the day and taking up more and more of my lap. I sing and talk to him/her in the car all the time and just wonder "Who are you?" "Who are you going to be?"On a funny note, the baby had hiccups twice today. (S)he doesn't like it when I sleep on my right side and (s)he seems to be a very mellow baby. I'm glad I have a somewhat crazy playing schedule ahead of me otherwise I'd spend every waking minute counting kicks and staring at the ultrasound pictures that I had to put in an album for fear of wearing them out.