An open letter to music

Dear Music,

I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know how you'd be there for me all the time. I didn't know how you'd permeate every bit of my life. How I'd hear a simple cello line in a song and wonder, "Could that have been me?" I didn't know how I'd relish spending my precious little free time transforming you from a piano/vocal score, fleshing you out into a four part concoction for the girls to play. I didn't know I'd get to the point where I panic if my cello isn't prominent in the rear view mirror, thinking I forgot it on the way to a gig. I didn't know how you would give me goosebumps to play gentle lines, being part of something bigger than myself. I didn't know that you would fill me the way you do and be missed when you're not there. Would I not love you as much if you were my profession? Would I feel you as a weight on me instead of a joy? I don't know. Was I simply scared of failing you in not pursuing you? I don't know what the future holds for us, but I promise to keep you as close as you are now. I promise to do the best I can.

Love,
Tiffany

Recent Acquisitions

So things have not been all together entirely bad. I've made a bunch of delightful new discoveries:

• Ben Folds (Five) and Rufus Wainwright- The "Who Do You Think You Are" (a song from Elvis Costello's The Juliet Letters - Hello - male vocalists out there: Please arrange to do a concert of this suite of songs - they're available in print. Thank you.) station on my pandora.com account has yielded many musical goodies. I can hear on this station items ranging from Norah Jones (who, in my opinion is not overhyped at all, but quite the opposite - this girl is immensely talented), to wonderfully unique versions of Bjork songs backed by strings, to show tunes from Spring AwakeningThe Last 5 Years. Figuring prevalently in this cavalcade of musical powerhouses are Ben Folds (with and without Five) and Rufus Wainwright. I'd run away from home with my cello (and Lucas since he loves music too) and join either of them on tour. Ben Folds (who personally, is a little creepy as he's on his 4th marriage) writes songs with musical complexity and intelligence - dizzying piano lines and melodies. Rufus Wainwright writes and sings the most soulful crooning. He's so old-school that he replicated Judy Garland's 1961 concert at Carnegie Hall. (It's so cool, he's even imitated what her album cover looked like.) So I've been wrapping this music around me and letting it carry me through the day.
• Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes - I thought I had tried these and not liked them. So when I saw them at WalMart for $2, I figured I'd just give them a second chance and be happy if it worked and it would be no great loss if it didn't. Well. One bite and I was hooked. These are serious stuff for a chocolate/peanut butter freak like me. They're also on the smallish side which means either: a.) You don't feel horribly bad after eating one little pack or b.) You feel you have rights to eat many of said little packs. But they're just incredibly tasty and I think I'll have to keep a steady supply of them in my fridge. Luckily Luke is still not allowed to have nuts yet or I think there'd be a smackdown over these.
• Speaking of whom.....he's discovered how to use a straw. This is good in that it's helping with his speech. This is bad because now any time he sees a beverage with a straw, he wants in on it. So my iced coffees must now be sampled by Mr. Bear. I must remember to keep straws out of my jack and cokes and scotch.
• Cottony Dresses From Old Navy - I scored 2 of these at $15 each. One navy and white striped and one in a fuchsia type of pink. Both can be dressed up or down for summery comfort.
• Flavored Seltzer - I've been drinking this for a couple of months now, but I still can't get over how much I like it. Now that I've been guzzling it, I'm surprised at how sweet regular soda is. My favorite variety is Vintage Cherry Flavored Seltzer, but I'll drink the store brand stuff too.
• MAC Lip Liner in Spice - This is actually a re-discovery. I had a college roommate who gave me her pencil since she was getting a new one and raved about how it went with everything. And it does. It's my go-to when I'm running out the door. I carry it with me everywhere and slap it on under a shiny gloss.

So I've found a few new favorites, some tasty discoveries and some treasures.

Why I Love Being a Musician

I popped "Piazza" back in the car's cd player. I think it has surpassed "Last 5 Years" as my favorite show. I really do. As much as I loved L5Y and what an intense, amazing cello book it has, Piazza is just....swoony. There's no other way to describe it. It's lush and sweeping. It's heartwrenching and beautiful. And when I listen to it I'm instantly transported to playing it 2 summers ago. I can remember all the little nuances in the score. I can remember all the little moments when Susan and I'd peek at each other enjoying a little string duet. I can remember emitting a little tiny 'yehaw' when Donna and I made it through that perilous, rhythmic passage.

Now I'm listening to the soundtrack from "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" which I'll be doing in February. It's a teeny pit. Lots of delicious cello lines. Lots of hysterically funny lyrics and wildly outrageous characters. But there's a song. "The I Love You Song". It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. It's heartbreakingly gorgeous and sad and touching. I can't wait to play it. And fall in love with another cello book.

And The Beat Goes On

I recently dug "The Light in the Piazza" out for a spin or two. I love that show. It rivals "The Last 5 Years" in my all-time favorite cello scores list. But when I was listening to it, it struck me how the music is intangibly linked with the memories from doing that show. When I listen to it, I get goosebumps in just the same spots as I did when I played it. I remember the way Cara would conduct from the piano, the way Susan and I would glance at each other when we played the coolest unison parts, all the little in-jokes and nifty musical moments. When I listen to it, I'm instantly reminded of summer and how warm it was upon exiting the theatre. Just like when I hear anything from "Cats" I think of Christmas tree lots, baking for the pit and laughing at just how....inane the music from "Cats" is. When I hear music from "Ragtime" I think of hanging out with Jill and the crew afterward and the oboe heater that blew a fuse in the pit right before intermission, knocking out both keyboards. I know smell is a a sense that is highly linked to memories, but for me it's hearing music. I hear the song, "Abracadabra" and think of the time I heard it at Adventureland and watching the 'big kids' on the giant swing. I hear "You Oughta Know" and think about walking down a street in Chicago on a warm, summer afternoon.