Saturday, April 21, 2007

The Inverse Relative Baloney Theory
Kerry says I need to blog more to entertain her. So, in doing that, I offer you, dear readers my "Inverse Relative Baloney Theory."

I love baloney. I don't care that it's made the same way as hot dogs. I don't care that it's like the lowest on the cold cut totem pole (I'd put it somewhere below salami but above olive loaf and chicken roll). I love it. In fact, I do believe that on my way to the doctor's office (11:45am) I will indeed have a baloney sandwich.

Okay. My theory states, that as the price per pound of the baloney goes up, the taste of the baloney goes down. Inversely, as the price per baloney goes down, the taste of the baloney goes up. Case in point. I detest Boar's Head Baloney. It tastes soapy and the casing is tough. However, Shoprite Store Brand Baloney, is delicious and tastes like it came directly from a German delicatessen. And it's relative too. The Shoprite Store Brand is better, compared to the Hansel and Gretel baloney at Best Yet Market.

So there you have it. A scientific categorization of baloney.

4 comments:

Kerry said...

Isn't it....bologna?
Oh, and....GROSS.

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

So not only are you complaining that I'm not posting enough, but you are insulting my food choices? First Taco Bell and then baloney? Sheesh. Tough crowd!

Kerry said...

You cannot go to Taco Bell, you know, the whole rat thing.
Try Moes.
Good stuff.
As for the BOLOGNA....I have nothing to say.

Monkey said...

It tastes soapy and the casing is tough.

I don't even eat baloney, but this scared me off for life. If Boar's Head is so awful, why do deli's put up enticing banners and posters advertising that they sell "BOAR'S HEAD"? Like it is the nirvana of deli goods?

Puzzles. I do so love puzzles.