An Open Letter to the Jerk in the Old Car on Southern State Parkway

Hi! It's me. The person in the Saturn who you gave a disdainful look to as you passed me. Because you had to swerve around me since you were traveling way too fast in the right hand lane.
The right hand lane is for people to MERGE onto and off of the parkway. It's not your personal zoom-by-others lane. And not to mention the other 2 cars ahead of me who apparently had no idea that you had to speed up a little as you merge onto a parkway.
Oh, and it doesn't make you cool if you drive an old car. It's an old car that's been well cared for moron - one with a real paint job and not a Harley Davidson decals all over it. (Blasphemy)
And lose the mullet loser.

An Open Letter to the Patrons of the North Babylon Library Who Borrow DVDs

I know how exciting it must be to borrow new(ish) movies like Spiderman 2 without having to go to Blockbuster.
I know it must really be hard to try to take care of something that isn't yours.
I know it must be even harder to do something simple like take a DVD from its case and carefully put it in your DVD player.
Perhaps you were missing a coaster and needed a flat round object to put your drink on.
Or maybe you lost your frisbee.
Regardless. Those DVDs do not belong to you and contrary to what you might think, other people would like to be able to VIEW the movie once you're done watching/slobbering/chewing on said movie.
The world is not your oyster.

This is just nifty

I was perusing the "blogs of note" and came across this one. Here's a picture to whet your appetite and make you go there. It's just the neatest stuff. And it goes beyond just neat objets d'art - he has some clever thinking behind it.

The Human Lisa Simpson

Tommy told me once that he had a crush on Lisa Simpson and one of the reasons he fell in love with me was because I was so much like her. Well, his dreams really came true when I found SimpsonizeMe (courtesty of fellow blogger Jordan Baker).

It's a laborious project and takes many attempts but it's just so worth it. I've always wanted to be on The Simpsons just to see what I'd look like animated.

I'd Be Laughing at You Too, Moron

This guy is all boo-hoo because his neighbors trashed his Hummer. Masked people slashed the tires and keyed it with the phrase "For the environ" Go them. I'm sick of seeing these monstrous things around. I've been musing over having a magnet/bumper sticker made saying "This car is socially and environmentally irresponsible" and slapping them on the Hummers and Navigators of the world. I love that the people in the neighborhood are smirking at him as if he deserved it.

What I'd like to know is why someone who lives with their mother felt the need to purchase a $32,000 vehicle????

New Talent

Today while commuting to work I discovered that I could vomit while driving and not get any on me. There has to be a call for that somewhere in the world, right?

Starbucks - Not the Villian You Expected
I think Starbucks gets a bum rap sometimes. I think people think it's some 'evil huge monster' company that puts little coffee places out of business. I don't necessarily think this is true. There are still quite a few coffee houses around my parts and most of the time they're hard to get into for how popular they are. I certainly don't see them hurting.

But Starbucks really does try to be good. I mean, they offer their employees benefits, regardless of whether they are full or part time. They have programs dedicated to helping others in countries that are less fortunate than we are. They sell water - a portion of which the proceeds go towards ensuring safe drinking water for children in underpriveledged countries. They have great music. I've bought quite a few cds from Starbucks and have discovered new artists I wouldn't have otherwise found.

And I was able to order something that's not even on their menu. I wanted a flavored steamed milk. (Hazelnut if you must know) And poof. They gave it to me. And it wasn't $5.

So Starbucks gets a gold star in my book. And I still patronize the little independent coffee places as well.

I Heart Sir Paul

I have to get my hands on his new album. While making dinner one night I had "The Tube" on (for more about the Tube, go here) and up popped a video for Paul's new song "Dance All Night." It was so Paul. So Beatlesque. And he's playing the mandolin on it. I love it! I so want to learn how to play it. So it got me thinking. Paul's early solo stuff was inherently Paul. And it really was different than the Beatle sound. Just as John's solo sound was so John and George's was just so George. (Ringo's solo stuff just always flummoxes me for some reason.) But now, with his last 2 albums, it seems as though Paul's returning to his roots - they're SO Beatlesque. Chaos and Creation in the Backyard sounds like it could have been recorded at Apple in between takes of doing tracks for "Revolver." It was almost eerie listening to it, as if he was working on it while someone was chanelling John next to him. And what I've heard off Memory Almost Full is in a similar vein. Which brings me to wonder if John and George would have also come full cirle if they were still with us. AND...if that's so, would a Beatle reunion really have been out of the question at that point.

Just food for thought.

Elfman vs. Williams - Cage Match

So I went to rehearsal for the community orchestra last night, expecting to be welcomed with the same music we always play in the summer - the same arrangements of the same musicals and oldies.

Well. Wasn't I pleasantly surprised? The theme this summer is the movies, so the concert is chock-full of great stuff.

First. A really great arrangement (basically the same as the original, but just abridged) of 'An American in Paris' including a teeny 3 measure cello solo! Gershwin is such a favorite of mine.

Then, an incredible compilation of John Williams' movie themes.

And we're talking the real deal. Not some babied down arrangements. It's as if they plucked right from the movie scores. He wrote some complex rhythms. It was from when he was honored at the Kennedy Center and included Superman, Star Wars, Jaws, Harry Potter and Raiders of the Lost Ark. All the great, instantly-recognizable themes.

Next we pull out selections of melodies from Rocky. Now scoff if you want, but there are some crazy, kick-ass string lines in there. Bill Conti wrote some amazing stuff. Complex, very touching motifs that really work to convey the character. I love how dated the music sounds but it's just so recognizable at the same time.

THEN.....an arrangement of themes from Spiderman. Written by my most favorite movie score composer of all time: Danny Elfman!! I have his cds of movie score music and I just sit enraptured by it. And I knew it had to be impossibly hard, especially when you listen to how layered it all is - you've got the strings playing this crazy-fast ostenato, strangely beautiful melodies that are almost always haunting, and just absolutely brilliant music. I was in heaven.

So needless to say, I was deliriously happy with what we're playing. The only exception was this arrangement of James Bond themes. It's a real clumsy arrangement - the songs are dumbed-down rhythmically, they're in different keys than they were written in and the transitions from song to song are very cumbersome. But, it's still fun to play.

So who would win a cage match between Danny Elfman and John Williams?

Oh, and my abdomen seems to be behaving better. No more searing gas pain and no kidney pain as of late. So either the stone has vacated the premises or it's hiding quietly and plotting it's next wave of terror against me.

Abdomen Woes
**Warning - grossness ahead**
So, it's thought that I might have a kidney stone. Which apparently is somewhat common in pregnancy. Saturday found me doubled over in pain and just miserable. I go all the way to the closest walk-in and they're closed - (after calling and checking on their hours - apparently people don't get as sick in the summer) so I call another which was luckily open on Sunday. They perfunctorily diagnose a kidney stone and tell me to follow up with my OB. I do. They say to come right in to get a sono. So I got a sneak peak at Baby Jordan who was basically doing the watusi in there. Then see the doctor again today at my regular appointment who refers me to a urologist. So off I will be going there.

However. Last night I had BLINDING gas pain, on top of the kidney pain. I thought my insides were going to explode. I was absolutely WRITHING in pain.

So I'm guessing my insides in the neighborhood of my abdomen are just not happy right now.

So Let Me Get This Straight...
Here's an interesting tidbit on how people were taking hammers to their iPhones to see what made them tick. So not only were these people shelling out $500-$600 for this but then destroyed them? I'm hoping they were paid by some company to do this because if this is just what "kids today do" we're all doomed.

*Editorial Rant*
I kind of feel weird about these iPhones. They may be "neat" but I always wonder why we need so much technology in one place. I don't know why people need to download music to their phone - I really don't get that. I can understand needing to access the 'net if you're say a businessperson who is always on the go and need information or whatnot, but why would the average person need a $500-$600 phone that does everything like that?

Move Over Bacon, Here Comes Sizzlean

I went to Tommy's game yesterday. I did put on sunblock - SPF 30 even. Apparently I'm lacking in the sunblock application skills as I now have a ridiculous looking burn on my back and right above my cleavage. It's painful and silly looking. Luckily, I had this hair/skin butter in my hair-care arsenal and decided to try it out on my burn. Ahhhhhh......cocoa scented relief! Now my skin is saying "ahhhhhh" and I smell like chocolate. Thank you Blended Beauty's Whipped Pudding! (This link will take you to the last time I sang Whipped Pudding's praises.)

Now I'm off in a shapeless dress (since anything remotely touching my shoulders makes me yelp) to gather groceries so I can make dinner for a few nights in a row and regain my domestic goddess status.

Mmmmmm.....Bacon Flavored Goodness

Okay. Who's the marketing genius who came up with these? They are like the potato chip version of CRACK! I have to seriously ration them out, as they fulfill Baby Jordan's request for all things bacon-y and potato-y. I might have to make sure we're stocked with them at all times.

St. Anne, Patron Saint of Mothers

Diane and I took one of our beloved road trips up to Sturbridge, MA to visit the shrine to St. Anne, who is the patron saint of mothers. It was suggested to me by a friend at work. So we figure what the hey, we're good for a ride. It was gorgeous. It took us about 3 1/2 hours to get there but it was easy driving (any time I DON'T have to go over the George Washington Bridge is a good thing) and the weather was just beautiful. The shrine and church are on these amazing grounds. There's a whole trail devoted to the stations of the cross, with sculptures of each station. I learned a little - I didn't know each station teaches some lesson. It was really interesting. I don't know why, but the stations of the cross just fascinate me - every time I'm in a new church, I look at them and how they're done. Every Easter I say I'm going to go to a live one.

Here's Diane at the entrance to the stations of the cross trail.

These are sacred steps that lead up to a sculpture of the cruxifiction.

The steps were pretty steep and I did indeed climb them. Not that I was a pretty sight when I reached the top. The view was lovely though. There were birds everywhere outside and they didn't stop singing once. I got some prayer cards and a little St. Anne medal to wear while I'm pregnant. I figure we can use any help we can get!

After the shrine we found a cute little restaurant that had a deck outside. Dining al fresco! And so inexpensive - I had a catfish dinner for $9. In the foyer of the restaurant was a CIGARETTE MACHINE! I haven't seen one of these in ages! I thought it hysterically funny so I took a photo. Then off to a candy store that's been around since like the early part of the 1900's where I had to purchase chocolate peanut butter fudge and a smores type thing and red licorice for Tommy. THEN to the bakery at the Publick House where I bought a delicious cookie (chocolate filled with peanut butter) and a whoopie pie. What's a whoopie pie? Surely you jest! It's like a big, huge, homemade devil dog except the cake part isn't dry and crumbly. Then home we went. We're planning another trip - we need to find Purgatory Chasm and check out the Polish Pottery.

My Two Cuties
So here's my sweet cowboy holding our bran-new nephew. I can't tell who's cuter. And now that I've seen him in person, I can attest to him looking adorable and smelling like that great baby smell. Ismaeel LOVES his uncle. Tommy picked him up and he snuggled right into him, sighed and promptly fell back asleep. We had a very exciting day. We walked along the Hudson, ate outside and walked back. Baby I. slept through it all. Apparently his life is very tough. He is still absolutely delicious though and makes the cutest sighing sounds as he settles in. And luckily, right before we had to go catch our train, I picked him up for one last snuggled and he just nestled in right into my neck.

A Green Movie
If for no other reason, this is why I'll see "Evan Almighty." I really like the idea of a huge, previously thought of evil entity (the movie biz) trying to turn itself around by making a "green" movie. The folks who made "Evan Almighty" decided to take steps to ensure that the making of their movie would produce no carbon. I think that's pretty cool, and I'm hoping that more productions follow suit. They used bicycles instead of golf carts, did much to recycle, printed scripts on both sides of recycled paper and used recycled materials to create the sets.

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me About Harry Chapin??
The drummer from Tess' pit passed along a cd to me of Harry Chapin. His music is AMAZING! And, he has a cello featured on most songs. I'd love to get my hands on some of those cello parts. They're not just pretty accompaniment - they're some serious licks and runs. And his lyrics are just so beautiful - these woven tales made up of these interesting and usually intricate characters. How I hadn't dug his stuff up sooner is totally beyond me.

*Phew*

I survived. I survived a few weeks of craziness. Do you know how hard it is to have a crazy week at work and then go and play a 3 hour show at the end of a day in said week? It ain't easy. Luckily, Tommy kept me well fed, carried the cello up and down the stairs for me and welcomed me home with big hugs at the end of the day.

So Tess is over. It was an amazing cello book to play (the kind you look forward to playing 5 times in a row unlike say, 'The King and I' where you just want to take a gun to the king at the end rather than have to play 'I Whistle a Happy Tune' yet again.), it was a small group which made for conversing between the pit and the cast and there were just good vibes around all the time.

My nephew was born! He came in on June 14 at 3:05 p.m. I haven't gotten a chance to see him yet, but he looks just sweet and darling. I told his parents that he has about 6 months to relish being the cutest baby in the world and then he'll have to see how his cousin turns out and the title will be up for grabs.

Rant and Rave Concerning the Tony Awards
First of all, I always get pissed off at how the Tony Awards are just shoved aside. I understand, Broadway is a small corner of the world, but it's still a big deal to see who's being honored and what's happening in the world of live theatre. I'm appalled at how much attention is given to the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the MTV Video Awards and not a splash is made about the Tonys. I mean, these performers do eight freakin' shows a week and more of a big deal is made on what dress Nicole Kidman is wearing than the Tonys as a whole.

Case in point, in the entertainment section of the Sunday paper, the ENTIRE cover is devoted to the Sopranos finale. There's a huge photo of Tony Soprano and features up to wazoo. Then in a small box, it asks "Who will win the Tonys?" As if they're asking who's going to appear on Monday's edition of the Today show. How ridiculous. Why bother? And the thing is....is this is a newspaper that is circulate IN NEW YORK CITY! I mean, if it's not a big deal here in the suburbs of NY, where will it be a big deal?

But there were some things that annoyed me about the awards show itself.

First, why were there performances from shows that were nominated last year? Do I give a crap that Fantasia is replacing someone in Color Purple? Does that warrant her performing at the Tony awards? Ummmm......no. And okay, so Jersey Boys won last year, but does that mean they should do a musical number AGAIN? What's the deal with that?

But all in all, I still like watching them. I like seeing all the faces that are familiar to the stage. I like getting a glimpse of musical numbers from shows I probably can't afford to go see. (I'm still trying to get to see 'Spelling Bee' and now I'm dying to see 'Spring Awakening') I like knowing where the future of musical theatre is heading.

Walk for Two, Eat for Two, Sleep for Two*

Okay, okay, okay. I figure I should make it all official-like. I'm pregnant. I'm 12 weeks today and still a little nervous that this little person is okay. Of course when I went to my last doctor visit because I wasn't 11 weeks yet they didn't even TRY to listen for the heartbeat. (Which luckily I saw on the sonogram at 5 weeks, so I'm not entirely freaked out.)

It's just that, with all that Tommy and I have been through, I happen to think we're a little deserving of some little goodness in our life. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly thankful that I was able to beat cancer and am still healthy. And I don't think we're asking for much, just a happy, healthy baby.

I think it's a girl, but that's just me. I'd be over the moon with either a girl or a boy.

My official due date is December 21. If I had to guess, I'd say this child will make a splashy entrance and come as close to Christmas as they can if not on Christmas. And it'll be huge snow. Just a guess.

And although there have been many.....creative suggestions, where we are right now is Tessa Josephine for a girl and Lucas Ryne for a boy.

*Taken from a 10,000 Maniacs song.